If I should die this very moment

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
...
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
Wanna saty right here
'till the end of time
'till the earth stops turning...

Nostalgia

Nostalgia, is caused by a sense of respect to those people who have made your sweet memories. Nostalgia comes when you find yourself far from people with whom you share sweet moments of past and it intensifies when these people pass away. As a surviver, one feels responsible to cherish the memory of the dear departeds.

Being 30 years old, I am recently feeling impulses of nostalgia. I have never had such an experience before. This feeling of compassion includes not only departed ones, but also those who used to be my close friends but now they are mentally far from me. This also includes my father, who used to share pieces of wisdom with me when I was a child, and now we barely find a subject on which we both agree. And my brother, and my sister, to whom I am someone as close as a stranger.

Is this a natural effect of aging? I am wondering if this feeling will get more severe as time passes, or is it going to decline and diminish at some point? I read somewhere – maybe in Kundera’s immortality – that at a certain point, one is so old that all memories of past disappear. Death is so close that it cannot be distinguished from life. So close that one does not feel responsible any more to cherish the memory of the dear departeds: the moment of freedom from Nostalgia.

People will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus--and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace."

"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West--know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."

Excerpts from Obama's Speech on Inauguration Day

Temptation of Hereafter

I used to have a sweet grandmother until last Monday when she died at the age of almost 100 years old. She was a very beautiful lovable old woman who lost her husband some fifteen years after marriage. She brought up her orphans – including my father – all by her own in their small village inflicted by famine and poverty. Although she was uneducated, she often uttered touching pieces of wisdom. My father has been always proud of her mother and says: “She is an uneducated sage”. My grandmother was proud of her son too. The son who never forgot her and traveled every month from Tehran to see her, help her, take care of her and not let her feel lonely and forgotten.

However my grandmother would not remain alone and forgotten if my father did not pay her the routine visit. She was like the doyenne of her neighborhood and neighbors enjoyed her companionship. Hundreds of people attended her funeral and mourning ceremony. Her last days were beautiful and her life ended with glory.

Her oldest son, my only uncle, is mentally retarded. He is very awkward while speaking and nobody enjoys his companionship. The only one who really took care of him was my grandmother. Maybe my grandmother was the only person by whom my uncle experienced some sense of compassion in his retarded mind. And now after her death, my uncle is experiencing the bitter sense of loneliness.

How lonely my uncle looks after death of his mother. I remember in the cemetery, where people stood around the grave after burring my grandmother. My uncle stood just above the grave and cried but nobody cared. I remember for one moment I did not see anything but my mentally retarded uncle and his regrettably awkward crying. In that moment, my father appeared in the scene: “I will never leave you alone” he whispered in my uncle’s ear. Maybe my father feels that he is not educated enough to impress me, but he did. My father is neither educated nor sage. We disagree with other on many things. But he has a very compassionate heart and I am proud of that.

Sweetness of human relations tempts me to believe in a peaceful hereafter not inflicted by famine and poverty. Wherein my grandmother kisses his son for devoting himself to his mentally retarded brother. Wherein my uneducated father who cannot impress his son joins his mother again to enjoy her companionship.

Mass Metamorphosis

Couple of weeks ago, we went to “Rhinoceros” theatre play with friends. The play is written by Eugène Ionesco and the performance was directed by Farhad Ayish in Tehran City Theatre. I liked it.

It is a simple show of how easily people can metamorphose into animals. It was an attempt at revealing the pattern of people’s mass metamorphosis: when people start denouncing their routine lives and praise glory of some greater good or sort of collective power and finally end up with turning into Rhinoceros, a symbol of bestial power. The play is often considered as a response to the sudden upsurge of Communism, Fascism and Nazism during the events preceding World War II.

Do we have such experience in Iran?
Yes, after the Islamic revolution of 1979. However the ruling discourse in Iran’s case was neither Nazism nor Communism. It was Islamism, the idea of Islamizing Iranian’s social and individual lives. The utopia depicted by this theory is Islam’s universal governance, wherein the citizens are treated as Servants of God rather than free individuals. The Islamic Republic of Iran is the pilot project of bringing God’s kingship to earth. Hence the mass metamorphosis here was turning into dogmatic servants of God. This looked very awkward in the beginning but the idea very soon propagated all over the society. Religion and ideology overcame human relationships. Many fathers executed their sons on charge of being communists. Many parents contributed the government to indoctrinate their children not to question red lines of Islam and Quran. And the outcome of this historical mass metamorphosis of Iranians is today’s totalitarian regime which even wants to control the way people dress.

On Gaza's Crisis

Settling the clash between Palestinians and Israelis is a severe challenge of today’s world, but the solution of course is not reading the history from the point that suits benefits of one side. That is what both sides of the battle are doing. Israel has attacked Gaza because of rocket attacks from Gaza into southern Israel by Hamas militants. Hamas had shot those rockets to break the blockade. Israel had blockaded Gaza as a response to terrorist attacks organized by Hamas inside Gaza. Hamas organized attacks to retaliate....

One can simply see the absurdity of this regression when there is no result other than making citizens and innocent children victims of futile retaliations.

I am not a politician but I find religion and racism at the center of this tragedy. Those who feel compassion for Gaza’s children because they are Arabs or Muslims are potential racists and their compassion will eventually perpetuate the disaster.

We condemn Israelis’ murder of Gaza’s defenseless citizens as well as Hamas’s terrorist attacks on Israelis. We believe that Gaza’s children are as innocent as Israeli children. We identify humans by their humanity. Not by their religion nor race.